Fun with Daddy

Sweet Gillian, you melt daddy's heart...he turns into mush when you smile...just watch! You started smiling at 6 weeks and you were a pro at 8 weeks!

Fun with you!

One day...your story will be told

One day sweet girl, we will tell you how hard mommy and daddy cried, weaped and fought for you. One day you will see that we did everything we could to make "this" right. You will see, one day the endless visits to Dr.'s, specialists and children's hospitals we took you too. One day, I hope you know how badly we wanted to make it "right". The day will come and you will see how mommy and daddy WON that fight and we hope you look at us as and appreciate all the hard work as parents we did and will continue to do for you sweet girl.

Monday, February 10th, a visit to Phoenix Children's Hospital. I sat with you in the waiting room as endless amounts of children and their parents came in to wait to see their Dr.'s. A lot of children who are fighting for their lives. I sat there and wondered how their parents are coping and I realize, they are probably doing the same thing mommy and daddy are doing, fighting!! I saw a little girl who was around 2 years old who I know will never be right. I noticed she already had brain surgery. I also noticed that her mom looks at her as if she was the best thing that was on planet earth and you know what, she was. This little girl, though so sick was so darling and looked at her mommy with eyes of an angel. She was perfect even to me, though I know she is not perfectly healthy. I know there are children in this world who is so far off, there is nothing anyone could do except their parents giving them endless love. I hope my friends and family who have little ones truly appreciate how fortunate they are to have healthy children. I hope they appreciate that the only visits to doctors offices is for the cold they got at school. You, my love, you are my miracle. You are my sweet baby girl. My dream come true.

Here is the visit to Phoenix Children's Hospital. You did great! Just look and see! It was rainy and cold that Monday, so I put you in the Oriental Inspired outfit Mike Fontana got you!

Here is the U/S tech who did your hip ultra-sound.

You did great!

I had to feed you to keep you comfy while you had the U/S.

You were so comfy, you feel asleep.

You go back in a week for another U/S. I know you're going to do great!

Love,

Mommy

Sleep little one, sleep....

My sweet pink angel.

I haven't had a nights sleep in 7 weeks, Miss G. My favorite moments is when you wake up for a feeding, I nurse you, I burp you and then you get to sleep on my chest for a few. I love having the top of your head hit my lips because it's easy access for lots of kisses when you're laying on my chest. You smile in your sleep and it looks like it's rubbing off because now you are slowing smiling while you are awake. I don't mind waking up with you in the middle of the night because it's a reminder of how lucky I am that you are here with us. My sweet baby girl, I love you. I have a lot of favorites with you, by far however , my favorite is when you and daddy find some time for a nap in the afternoon.

I watched a little face sleeping, eyelashes fluttering so, I wondered of the dream you were having, and if angels were playing there. I watched a little face sleeping, your little mouth was smiling so, I hope that you are as happy as me, holding you in my arms. I watched a little face sleeping, making sure of the breath you take, to watch you breathe and keep you safe, is all that matters to me. I watched a little face sleeping, holding your small hand in mine, five little fingers on each hand, as one hangs onto mine. I watched a little face sleeping, and as I prayed to myself, I thank God for letting me watch a little face sleeping.

Good night Gillian.

I love you,

Mommy

Your first day in service...

You cried the entire time.

Two days later, you are still crying.

I am ready to cry.

A visit to Dr. Vu

Getting ready to go to Dr. Vu, my love.


It was just you and I today, here's the long stroll to his office.

We made it!
We paid the co-pay and now we wait to see him.


Here is the hard table they lay you on. They certainly do not make it for comfort!


Here he is checking out your foot, you were so calm!


Now you're pissed off, you have your cast back on. I don't blame you baby.

We go back next Friday at 11:30, then you and I will go get a burger at the Magic Mushroom Burger Shop.

I love you.

Mommy

Tears and kisses

Last night, I was awake a few times to feed you (big surprise, huh?)....I am still in awe of you little one...and I thought of all the sad days, weeks and months when you were in my tummy....not a wasted pregnancy, just a lot of concern and thoughts of, "why me", "why my daughter".

I cried thousands of tears while you were protected in me.

Then I met you.

I promise to make it up with millions of kisses...


I only have a dozen kisses left until I meet that goal.


Peace,


Mommy

Thanks Tina for the bunny!

Stretch it out Gillian

She may never get the chance to wear these shoes.

Swollen foot, stretching out your leg now that the cast is off.

Checked your toes as I do everyday.

I realized your toes looked extra fat, SUPER fat.

Showed your daddy.

Called Orthopedic Dr.

Dr. said remove the cast.

Cast is off of you until Thursday.

Don't get your hopes up too high sweet G, you get another one in 48 hours.

I love you.

Mommy

A month later

Asleep....

Trying to suck on her arm...

I gave her a new hair-do after her bath.

My sweet girl, today you are 4 weeks and 2 days old. You are asleep on the leather couch right now, mostly because I wanted to put you in a room where it wasn't so hot. Our A/C broke and sadly in Arizona, even in January, you need A/C. G, you are in REM right now, hopefully dreaming about giving mommy and daddy a great nights sleep. Look how little you are, I layed my hand next to you so others can see just how "newborn" little you are.One day when your older and your curious as to why I take so many photos of you and Triston, well, it's simple.. I have only one photo of me as a toddler....and then it picks back up when I'm 5. I wish I had more but my parents didn't have the money to document my early years of life...and who am I kidding, technology NOW is amazing.

Triston and daddy are playing Rockband and I've been cooking eggplant parm for dinner, very low-key day. It's MLK today and tomorrow, these United States of America gets a new President. You have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Hauben, you get shots...I'm concerned about the shots ordeal because they give it into your legs and you only have one leg available as your left leg is in a full leg cast. I know Dr. Hauben will make it work, he adores you. Funny thing to mention is that tomorrow will mark your THIRD, yes I said 3rd visit with him in under a week.....I know, I know, I worry about you G....he told me to relax....easier said then done.

Now that she is more on a schedule...and I'm finally getting the hang on this baby thing, I plan on blogging more often...I can't wait for you to read this later on in life...because it will only confirm it all my love that I love you so much and daddy and I fought for you to be here and will never get out of the ring. Fight on girl, you deserve it.

I love you G.

2 weeks baby girl!

Oh Gillian, it's been over 2 weeks since I met you, my sweet little girl. I can't beleive for 17 weeks, while pregnant with you, I refered to you as a "him or a he". I was certain that I was having another boy and knew in my head that there is no way I could have a little girl because I was just so use to have a son. I was surprised when the U/S tech said, it's a girl. I'll never forget the happy tears I shed as I told your daddy that he will be walking his daughter down the isle in years to come. When you are older, I will tell you all about the pregnancy, the tears shed between your father and I, the stress we carried and the happiness when we finally met you my sweet baby girl.

Your daddy is over the moon with you (as we all our). There is just something to be said when a father holds his little girl. Your his, period, daddy's little girl.

Yesterday we took you to your first meeting at the Hall. I was so happy to show you off as many knew the hard road we took in order to get you here. You made everyone smile, people flocked to you to see who our little miracle was, who she was all about. I was so proud!

Everyday I wake up and I smile, I have my boy, I have my girl. Though I know the road ahead of us could be rough, just know that as my daughter, I will take care of you and will never let you down.

I love Gillian!

Your mommy